MvC3: Hijinks Ensues
by MrSaxobeat
Summary: This is literally just a collections of thoughts that come into my head whenever I get bored. In other words, characters not being themselves and stuff happening. Have fun.
1. Chapter 1: Randomness

[Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fanfiction as almost all of them are owned by Marvel or Capcom. This is only for entertainment purposes and I do not gain anything from it]

[Author's note] I have always been one to draw characters that I like but maybe working on my literature would be nice for once eh? Hope you guys like the weirdness that MvC3: Hijinks Ensues. Also these characters might not act like how they should sooo yeah if you don't like that part then maybe you could go read other better fanfictions or stuff ,-,

(( Boring beginning))

After a gruesome battle with the Wolverine, Ryu finally decided to go to a random mountain in the merged worlds to train and hone his skills as a true master of karate.

Ryu: Hmmm...

Amaterasu:...*barks*

Ryu: Hm? A wolf? Would you care to join me in my training?

Amaterasu: *barks*

Issun: Hey karate guy, do you have any idea where the heck we are?

Ryu: Sorry. Can't help you there. All I can remember was how two worlds are suddenly merging into one.

Issun: WELL THAT'S A PRETTY BIG CLUE DON'T CHA THINK?! And why the heck are you not panicking about it?

Ryu: I would but...there's only one thing in my mind right now.

Issun: That you need new clothes?

Ryu: No, I must train even more than ever before.*goes back to meditating*

Issun: Oookay then. Welp, we're on our own Ammy.

Meanwhile, back in the city...

Morrigan: Hmph, so serious all the time. You're no fun Chris~

Chris: One, I can't even look at you straight with your none existing bra covering up your clevage and two THERE ARE ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE!!

Zombie No. 1: *groans*

Zombie No. 2: Brains...

Zombie No.1: Dang it Carl! We're modern zombies not children shows. Get it right damn it!

Zombie No. 3: Nah mate, let the guy do his thing. I support him.

Zombie No. 2: *sniffs* That really means a lot to me Steve.

Morrigan: Oh please, they're not even different than the low-class demons of Makai. Just shoot their heads and bam.

Chris: If it sounds SO easy to you then why not help out?!

Morrigan: I could. I would...

Chris: *gets pulled in by one of the zombies*

Morrigan: -and I should. Buuut then it wouldn't be fun anymore now would it?

Chris: *INSIDE SCREAMING*

Wesker: So much viruses I just can't choose which one to inject you!

Jill: Oh God no.

Chris: Jill!!

Jill: CHRIS!!

Wesker: Oh God my ears shut up woman!

Jill: *bites Wesker's arm*

Wesker: Aargh!

Chris: Jill?! Are you becoming a z-

Jill: Nah, always wanted to do that to Wesker. Oh, and this. *kicks Wesker's crotch*

Wesker: AAH!!*falls down*

Morrigan: Wait are you two like together, together??

Chris and Jill: NO.

Morrigan: Oooh, can I have him then? *hugs Chris*

Chris: AGAIN WITH THE CLEVAGE OH GOD BUY A BRA WOMAN!

Morrigan: :)

Jill: Don't even think about it!!

Zombie No. 30: Awww, how romantic~

Zombie No. 19: I remembered how my wife loved me like that...

Zombie No. 30: ...what happened to her?

Zombie No. 19: Oh I ate her.

Zombie No. 30: ...oh.

((Even Robots need Love))

X-23: Enjoy those looks while you still got em!

Zero:...ew what? I'm a robot!

X-23: Wait really?! Aaahh sh*t. Let's just...pretend I never said that.

Zero: It's okay. Good to know you aren't into robots and all.

X-23: Hahaha I know right? Like human and robot relationship would ever be a thing~

Zero: *nods* Like I would ever fall in love with a human girl.

X-23: *laughs*

Vision:...

Scarlet Witch:...

Zero: Wait what?! Since when you two were here?!

Vision: I feel very much offended by that statement.

(( Pet ))

Felicia: Awww look at this adowable puppy!! Can I keep it?

Morrigan: As long as you're the one taking it out for walks then go nuts.

Felicia: Yay! :D

Amaterasu: *whine*

Issun: Holy MOLY THOSE ARE SOME HUGE MELONS YA GOT THERE SISTERS!

Morrigan: Oh, what a charming little bug you have. Care to be _my pet?_

Issun: YES! I'M ON THE ROAD TO ADU-

Amaterasu: *gobbles Issun up*

Felicia: Uh, is he gonna be okay?

Amaterasu:...

Felicia:...

Morrigan: *flies away* Welp, time to find me another man. God I can't find anyone decent here.

Felicia: Or maybe because your offers were taken down by many of them.

Morrigan: SHUT IT FELICIA-

Amaterasu: *opens her mouth*

Issun: *falls onto the ground* Sweet Ookami do you ever clean your mouth?! It smelled like corpses in there!

(( Cool factor ))

Dante: Hot damn this place is packed with strong figthers! I love this place already!

Vergil: Wait, aren't we trying to find our way back home?

Dante: We are?

Vergil: Nevermind. Talking to you is like talking to a rock. Not responding.

Dante: Hey I have a great quality that you could never obtain!

Vergil: That is?

Dante: *puts on sunglasses* Being cool.

Vergil: Like I said. A rock.

Dante: You're just jealous because mother loved me more!

Vergil: Where did that even come from?! News flash Dante, I was the better son.

Dante:Nu-uh!

Vergil: Not even going to answer that...

[Author's note] Yep it's awful which is why I decided to try it out for once. Hope that it is at least fun to watch and do have a good day~


	2. Chapter 2: Quest for Ice Cream

It was a lovely morning, the Sun is shining upon the destructions dealt upon the city by countless villains as Ryu and Amaterasu went to an ice-cream shop.

Issun: Why are we here again?

Ryu: For me to complete such a dangerous and grueling training in order to find myself, I must complete one of the dangerous task that any sane man could ever take on...

Issun: Eat ice-cream?

Ryu: No. **Brain freeze**.

Issun: Wait what?

Ryu: Legends say that those who completed the training in the art of brain freeze... never got to live to tell the tale.

Issun: Seriously?! Where did you get that information, exactly?

Ryu: From the most trusted source of news, the Internet.

Issun: What's the Internet?

Ryu: My friend Ken showed it to me. It's very fascinating!

Issun: I feel like an old man already. How much things have been invented?!

As they got inside, the cold temperture the place was of course in a mess but the electricity in the building was still working...somehow.

Issun: Man this place is cold! But I don't see any snow in here!.. Wait! Is it the working of a demon?

Ryu: It's the air-conditioner. It makes the area here colder than normal.

Issun: ...I have no idea what that is.

Amaterasu: *barks happily*

Issun: You like this place? Eh, good for you. I'll just stay close with your fur thank you very much.

Ryu: *walks to the counter* I would like to order an ice-cream! Vanilla if you will!

Issun: Have it ever crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe people have already evacuated from this place?

Ryu: ...huh. That actually does make sense.

Then, another person came into the shop.

Dante: I would like one strawberry sundae if you will~

Issun: Seriously?

Dante: Hmm? Ammy? Ryu? The heck you guys doing here?

Ryu: Obtaining ice cream for training. You?

Dante: Same. Minus the training part. I'm pretty sure they still got some at the freezer.

Issun: Freezer?

Dante: Man you two are so dated... I can understand the dog not knowing these things but you Ryu? What's your excuse?

Ryu: I do not need the assistance of technology to aid myself in everything I do.

Dante: You don't have the money for it?

Ryu:...

Dante:...

Ryu: ...quiet.

Dante: No need to hide it. You can always ask me for some cash. Or not. My business isn't looking so good. Who knew demon attacks are like, nonexistance these day?

Amaterasu*barks*

Ryu: What is it boy? Er, I mean girl.

Cashier: Hello there!

Ryu: Aaah! You scared me!

Cashier: My apologies. I heard that the two of you would like to buy some of these delicious ice creams?

Dante: Yep. Give me a strawberry sundae.

Ryu: And one vanilla ice cream for me please!

Cashier: Of course! Now would the cute lil doggy want one?

Amaterasu: *gets on the counter and starts to attack the cashier*

Dante: No! Bad doggy! *gets Amaterasu off the counter* What is your problem?! I was about to get my sundae too!

Cashier: Damn mongrel-

Issun: Uh, are humans suppose to go green whenever they get angry? I thought it was only when they get sick.

Amaterasu: *uses her Celestial Brush aka her ink-tipped tail to draw a circle on the cashier*

Super Skrull: BLAST IT ALL! How can you transform me back?!

Dante: You! You tried to kill off Joe!

Super Skrull: You damn right I did! Can't believe the Bobble-Head brat was strong enough to not die against me in seconds!

Ryu: Yeah I was wondering about that one-

Super Skrull: Now that you know about my true form, I can't let you live!!

Dante: *gets out his giant sword* Man you're annoying. You really aren't that different from any demons I had for breakfast.

Ryu: You eat your own kind?! Doesn't surprise me however.

Dante: It was a metaphor. *jumps up into the air to slice Super Skrull in half but was met with a fire infused stone fist to the face instead* Gyaah!! Oh you're gonna get it! *uses both of his guns, Ebony and Ivory to shoot Super Skrull in the face*

Super Skrull*dodges* Anyone up for some roasted demons?!

Ryu: Oh God I'm gonna be sick-

Issun: Pretty sure he's just trying to taunt Demon Boy there Ryu.

Super Skrull: *turns into a ball of inferno, melting all the available ice cream on display*

Ryu:NOOOO!!!! You sick-twisted monster!

Ryu then readies his fist and starts punching Super Skrull's stomach, temporarily stunning him. Amaterasu then uses her Celestial Brush to strike down thunder from the sky and onto the villainous alien.

Super Skrull: AAAARRGHH!!

Issun: Hah! Was that too 'shocking' for you?

Super Skrull then lashes out a barrage of attacks with elastic and deadly burning rocky fists towards everyone. Both Dante and Amaterasu were able to dodge using Quicksilver Style and Mist respectively while Ryu was busy guarding himself, waiting for the perfect chance to strike.

Super Skrull: I'mma tenderize ya reeeeal good!

Then, in a split moment...

Ryu: SHIN-

Ryu punches Super Skrull with every ounch of strenght he has in that human body of his really hard and begins to use one of his most powerful attacks.

Ryu:SHOR-

Super Skrull: I can't feel my everything!!

Ryu: YU...KEEEEEN!!!

Super Skrull was then blasted off to the roof and into the vast horizons, never to be seen again.

Amaterasu: *victory howl*

Ryu: *checks the ice cream on display* Nooo, all of them are...burnt.

Dante*slowly walks up to Ryu from the side and pats him on the back* Shh, it's okay buddy. I'm sure we'll find some for you someplace else.

Issun: Yeah and you'll totally eat all the ice cream you want!

Ryu: Aahh you guys.

All: *laughs*

And so their day ended with happiness in their heart even after the massacre of their delicious ice cream. Will they continue to have such fun adventures or will it all end in misery? Find out next time!


	3. Chapter 3: Vengence for Pool

As the attack on the city continues, Spider-Man and Deadpool were eating at a pizza restaurant aka Dominos aka buy Dominos aka I'm not paid by Dominos to do thi-

Spider-Man: You know, it's pretty nice of you to pay the food for me. What's with you being nice?

Deadpool: ...wait I was paying?

Spider-Man: *sigh* I knew it...for being a city constantly attacked, everyone here seems pretty chill.

Deadpool: Maybe they're used to it? Like how used I am to you people NOT believing me when I said we're fictional characters?!

Spider-Man: Again with the fictional characters! Look, I get we're not exactly what you can call 'normal' people but saying we're just characters made by someone named 'Stan Lee' is just ridiculous.

Deadpool: Spidey, listen to me buddy. Have you ever met the same old man that's been stalking all of us? The Avengers? The Fantastic Four?

Spider-Man: ...now that you've mention it-

Deadpool: IT'S STAN FRICKIN LEE! He's keeping his eyes on us to keep it all in order! *eats a slice of pizza* Gat ay ih ag hick!

Spider-Man: ...please eat with your mouth closed.

Deadpool: *gulps* What are you? My mom? I can do whatever the hell I want!*puts his legs on the table*

Spider-Man: Suuure... so how's the X-Men? Heard you tried to join them...?

Deadpool:...who? No one knows them Spidey! They only remember the Marvel Cinematic Universe! The MCU! Speaking of the MCU, nice movie Spidey! But not as good as mine muahaha!!

Spider-Man: Reasoning with you is just impossible. Why was it a good idea to try and get you back to reality?

Deadpool: Because you liiiike me?

Spider-Man:...even with that mask, I can somehow feel like you're winking at me.

Deadpool: Oh you just know me too well~

Spider-Man: I wish I haven't...

Deadpool: *laughs* Say, is it just me or is that flaming skeleton dude is coming right here?

Spider-Man: Flaming what?*spider sense tingling*

 **C** **RASH!!** *

Both Spider-Man's and Deadpool's table was quickly turned into a fiery blaze when a chain whip lashed onto the furniture.

Spider-Man jumped out of the oncoming whip as soon as it was in his side while Deadpool got hit directly by the attack. He groaned in pain but got up as it was nothing. Many people got out of the restaurant and ran for their lives away from the attacker.

Ghost Rider: **WAAAAAAAADE!!!**

Spider-Man: You could've killed these people! *webs Ghost Rider's face but got turned to ashes in seconds* Okay bad idea.

Ghost Rider*wraps Spider-Man with his chain whip*

Spider-Man: OH MY GOD I AM ON FIRE!!

Ghost Rider: *smashes Spider-Man into the floor with incredible force*

Spider-Man: Aaargh, that hurts.

Deadpool: Eh, it does at first. Eat bullets ya looney! *shoots Ghost Rider with both of his bullets*

Ghost Rider: **You do not have the right to say such ludicrousy!** *uses his own gun to shoot Deadpool*

Deadpool: Oh come on! Yours are on FIRE! Cheater!

Spider-Man: Says the one with Healing Factor.

Deadpool: Quiet junior! The grown-ups are talking!

Ghost Rider: You shall burn in the deepest depths of Hell!

Deadpool: Eh, school was worse. *uses his katana to slice off Ghost Rider's head off*

Spider-Man* webs Deadpool's katana away*

Deadpool: Hey!

Spider-Man: No killing!

Deadpool: Oh yeah, forgot that you were a total sissy. You should totally try it sometimes! *gets grabbed by Ghost Rider* AAAH ITAI!

Ghost Rider: **LOOK INTO MY EYES!!**

Spider-Man: *webs Ghost Rider's eyes somehow with his web* **STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU.** Don't you guys know that the real villains are everywhere in this city?! Why the hell would you two try to kill each other?!

Ghost Rider: Wade has killed many innocences and he shall pay for his sins!

Deadpool: Sooo how much?

Ghost Rider: YOUR LIFE!

Deadpool: Pppfff, someone hasn't watched Death Battles recently. Newsflash Skeletor's edgy brother, I'm immortal.

Spider-Man: He does have a point.

Ghost Rider:...What?

Deadpool: You can shoot me, slice me into pieces or even turn me into goo. I will regenerate soooo the whole killing thing ain't happening buddy. *pats Ghost Rider's shoulder*

Ghost Rider: I rode my motorcycle all over here just for nothing?!

Deadpool: Pretty much.

Spider-Man: Why not you help us fight the bad guys instead? They're all over the city but can get difficult to find. Like Wesker.

Deadpool: Good old Wesker. Always trying to mutate people into monsters for world salvation!

Spider-Man: You mean world domination?

Deadpool: Nah Spidey, he's saving it.

Spider-Man: Urgh, I'm having a migraine just by talking with you.

Ghost Rider: Can I still take him to Hell?

Spider-Man: I told you I- ...Whatever. Go for it.

Deadpool: Wait I'm immortal!!

Spider-Man: Yeah but it doesn't mean you don't feel pain.

Deadpool: Why Spidey whhyy?! I thought you loved me man!

Spider-Man: See ya.

Deadpool was then dragged by Ghost Rider into the deepest depths of Hell while shrieking like a little girl.

Spider-Man: I'M FREE! FREEDOM!!

Waiter: Uh,sir? Aren't you going to pay for the pizzas? It was like 50 pepperoni pizzas.

Spider-Man:...*swings away*


End file.
